whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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