she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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