it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
