Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
