yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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