what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
