Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Congratulations! We have a period
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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