# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
