Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
