so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
someone owes me an orgasm
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
