I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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