Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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