All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
