so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
