Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
