Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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