batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
