No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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