I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
