I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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