Cold hands, warm shart.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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