Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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