I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
