If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
