they need to just BURY HIM!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
