You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You can't just leave with hair like that
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
