I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Apparently you make a good broom.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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