I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
