I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
