check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
