my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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