I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
