I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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