What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
