it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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