Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
