he wants to bone in the snuggie
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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