Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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