Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
