So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
