and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
