mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
