Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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