the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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