ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
