Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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