mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize