you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
