That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
