just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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